Thursday, September 22, 2005

musical interlude... 

Crazy world
Full of crazy contradictions like a child
First you drive me wild
And then you win my heart with your wicked art
One minute tender, gentle
Then temperamental as a summer storm
Just when I believe your heart's getting warmer
You're cold and you're cruel
And I, like a fool, try to cope
Try to hang on, to hope

Crazy world
Everyday the same old roller coaster ride

But I've got my pride
I won't give in
Even though I know I'll never win
Oh, how I love this crazy world
Crazy World (from the soundtrack of Victor/Victoria)

I'm going to be away for a few days and I doubt I'll have time (or a place) to update y'all on the goings-on of the weekend, so I thought I'd leave you with a musical interlude. Especially since I haven't done one in awhile.

I love Victor/Victoria. I loved it when it first came on HBO, lo those many years ago. And twenty-three years later I still love this movie. And its music.

Sometimes people ask me why I still stay in the game. Why I take the trouble to be politically involved. "All politicians suck," they say, "and corporations own our country." And I say that I once thought the same.

Why, even though I am becoming increasingly convinced that Mr. Right-for-Me doesn't exist - a thought I've carried with me for several months now, which is a whole other entry I may write someday - why is there a little bit of me that still thinks maybe he will show up?

Why do I stay in the game?

See the lyrics above. As I grow older, and my wounds turn into cynical scars - as I look at the world with an eye as jaded as any beautiful stone and harden my heart so that the cruelty of the world, and its people, doesn't cause it to bleed and my tears to fall in a constant stream - even though I know that the chances of my winning are slim to none, I refuse to give in.

There's still a sliver of rose-colored optimism that won't let me give in. And sheer obstinacy that's hanging onto that optimism.

Perhaps I'm a fool, but I do love this crazy world.


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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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