Tuesday, October 12, 2004
no surprise...
Still miss him.
Look, it's the second Tuesday of the month. Anyone surprised?
Thought not.
*************************
Kinda wish I hadn't opted out of the writing group tonight. Between being still sapped from yesterday's horrible headache and today's, uh, girlie visitor (I had no idea how on the nose I was on Sunday when I said Aunt Flo was visiting in a couple of days), I wasn't feeling entirely up to going to a hearing on the furture of the Ambassador Hotel. So I told Sarriah I would have to skip out. Now I'm feeling better - though still tired - and I don't want to be home tonight.
I had an odd dream last night too, in which I was together with the Ex again. As in, "together", if'n ya get my drift. And I was saying how much I missed him, how much I missed "this", meaning, of course, "being with him".
(In case you're a sweet innocent, I mean sex. Now go read something else.)
Now, even if I could have him back, I know I don't want him back. So I can only conclude that what I miss is the closeness we used to have - having that closeness with someone else. Because if I'm pining for him after all these years, I need some serious therapy.
Okay, I probably do need serious therapy. But it would be even worse than I thought if I'm still pining for the fjords.
*************************
BTW, y'all might have gathered this, but I thought I should tell you after all:
I'm not participating in the AIDS Half-Marathon this weekend. Between my ankles still giving me problems (finally getting in to see a podiatrist this Friday) and low on funds, there's no way I can run in San Francisco on Sunday. I think that may also have a hand in feeling a wee bit down tonight. Because missing CuteNerdBoy and hormones and not feeling 100% sure isn't enough to put me there.
Maybe I should just go to sleep early tonight.
What's with the snickering?
Look, it's the second Tuesday of the month. Anyone surprised?
Thought not.
Kinda wish I hadn't opted out of the writing group tonight. Between being still sapped from yesterday's horrible headache and today's, uh, girlie visitor (I had no idea how on the nose I was on Sunday when I said Aunt Flo was visiting in a couple of days), I wasn't feeling entirely up to going to a hearing on the furture of the Ambassador Hotel. So I told Sarriah I would have to skip out. Now I'm feeling better - though still tired - and I don't want to be home tonight.
I had an odd dream last night too, in which I was together with the Ex again. As in, "together", if'n ya get my drift. And I was saying how much I missed him, how much I missed "this", meaning, of course, "being with him".
(In case you're a sweet innocent, I mean sex. Now go read something else.)
Now, even if I could have him back, I know I don't want him back. So I can only conclude that what I miss is the closeness we used to have - having that closeness with someone else. Because if I'm pining for him after all these years, I need some serious therapy.
Okay, I probably do need serious therapy. But it would be even worse than I thought if I'm still pining for the fjords.
BTW, y'all might have gathered this, but I thought I should tell you after all:
I'm not participating in the AIDS Half-Marathon this weekend. Between my ankles still giving me problems (finally getting in to see a podiatrist this Friday) and low on funds, there's no way I can run in San Francisco on Sunday. I think that may also have a hand in feeling a wee bit down tonight. Because missing CuteNerdBoy and hormones and not feeling 100% sure isn't enough to put me there.
Maybe I should just go to sleep early tonight.
What's with the snickering?
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