Wednesday, October 13, 2004

here's a conundrum... 

...you love your friends. Because you love your friends you want them to be happy. It's only natural, right? But what if the something that makes your friends happy ends up being something that makes you, or other friends, unhappy?

How do you reconcile those conflicting emotions?


Sometimes you come across a piece of writing that stops you dead in your tracks. You read and you weep. Not just because the pain of a fellow human being is wrenching in its baldness and eloquence. But because much of what you read speaks to many of your deepest, darkest fears. Fears that you keep mostly at bay only through sheer force of will. And you don't know how much longer your will can stay strong enough to shore up the walls that serve to keep the fears from entering through anything larger than the cracks in the corners.

This entry from Elizabeth is such a piece of writing.


Apropos of little above:

Fear not, all is not dark little pockets in the Day of Carol. Because that strange little influence which seems to have been presiding of my own little universe this last year and a half is taking my past and bringing into my present yet again.

If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about (as well you should), well, today I heard a Voice from the Past. Actually, I read Words from a Voice from the Past - as it was via e-mail - but it amounts to the same thing.

It's someone I've mentioned before. He of the jealous girlfriend and Star Trek first date. He stumbled upon this humble blog (through Googling, admittedly, first BestFriend and then myself), skimmed through its pages, then sent me an e-mail saying hi.

Yesterday BestFriend had told me that he had contacted her - via someone and not Google results - which I told her was very cool, so when I found an e-mail in my inbox from him, I had to smile. It's the little things in life that make me happy, and his e-mail made me quite happy. Mainly because life seems to be working well for him, his wife (not she of the Eyes of Death) and their two children.

I've always remembered him fondly. He was a fun friend, a nice boy to crush on and a fine first date to have. And he introduced me to my prom date, one of his good friends in high school. Since I liked my prom date quite a bit, dating him off and on for a few months after we graduated, I'd say that knowing him was A Very Good Thing.

I don't know what'll happen. I hope we can keep in contact. I'm enjoying the fact that most of the people from my past that have started populating my present are people that I've always found to be immensely cool.

But if we do re-develop our friendship, I'm going to have to come up with nickname for him...

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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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United States, California, Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley, English, Carol, Female, 36-40.

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