Sunday, August 08, 2004
musical interlude...
How can I ask love to hold the mysteryFarewell To The Old Me by Dar Williams (from The Beauty of the Rain)
When just look at me
It's all push and pull collateral
I don't want to be the one that gets the next surprise
I'll plan it out this time
Though I used to think that things were meant to be
Farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
It all was changing anyhow
I danced a lot of nights until the grass was wet
It wasn't over yet
Round bout 3 a.m. you made a friend
And I followed a lot of idle crazy thoughts because
It's where the meaning was
And I tried to find it every other way
Farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
It all was changing anyhow
So I can turn on the charm
And show them nothing more
Than what I've done before
Nothing much new
But it'll do
'Cause I don't wanna be the one who makes you laugh out loud
I want to make you proud
And you always said you knew what I could be
So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
It all was changing anyhow
Time and the old me
Farewell to the old me
Farewell
There are songs you hear, you like, but for some reason you don't really listen to the words. Perhaps you're distracted by other, equally wonderful, songs on the disc. Perhaps your ears just aren't open to that song. Who knows the reason?
Months later you hear the song in a different setting, different context. You listen to the lyrics - really listen - and they strike your legs from under you. What you initially thought was a song about starting over is really a song about shutting oneself off from, not only the pain of the past, but possibly true happiness of the future. And it breaks your heart to hear it.
It doesn't help that other songs you hear on the same disc are equally heart-wrenching - taking that vital, tender organ that you thought was starting to heal and turning, contorting, buckling it, until you wonder how to untie the twist in it, or if that twist can ever be untied as the tears intrude upon your night fantasies, your dreams.
And you think, maybe it's time to turn off the stereo and fall back into the welcoming embrace of Morpheus.
Labels: musical interlude
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United States, California, Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley, English, Carol, Female, 36-40.
