Monday, May 24, 2004
fashion news...
As my astute readers may have deduced by now, I love clothes. Not fashion, so much, as many fashions are about as practical for normal, everyday people as a home electrolysis system is for Robin Williams (and frequently not as attractive), but I do love me some clothes. As a consequence, I know a little bit about clothing.
So I'm going to let y'all in on a little secret that seems to have eluded both fashion designers and the clothes-buying public for more years than I care to think about:
Capri pants are ugly.
There. I've said it. And because it's something I feel strongly about, I'll say it again: capri pants - and its cousins, the clamdigger and petal pusher - are not only ugly, they are hideous. Much like the commercially available Hummer, they have absolutely no reason to exist. Except, possibly, to make the consumer look rather stupid.
Granted, there are many things out there that are not practical and have no reason to exist. But at least ambient orbs and kaleidoscopes and Mercedes SL Electric Cars for kids are cool to look at.
(I take it back. That Mercedes SL Electric Car? Is stupid. Do kids really need to learn how to drive like their probably self-entitled parents at such a young age? Isn't that what the teen years are for?)
Look, I know that a number of you are, most likely, avid capri fans. Many of my friends wear them. You think they're girly and flirty and cute. But they're not. They're the Peter Pan of fashion - they either won't grow up or don't know what they want to be when they grow up. They flatter absolutely no one and very few women can even come close to looking almost decent. Instead, capris look idiotic.
I know that sounds harsh, and I'm sorry. But sometimes the truth is harsh. I'm not saying I'm immune to stupid fashion choices. I worked the stirrup pants and stretch pants a little past their expiration date (which should have been 2 days). And the whole "blazer/shorts suit" look was one that I heartily embraced (professional woman on top, fun casual girl on the bottom - whee!). And I have no doubt that many of my current fashion loves will cause me to cringe at some point in the future - the raison d'etre of most fashion is to make people wonder what the hell they were thinking in their youth.
But capris? Are just wrong on so many levels. Doesn't matter if they're high end or midrange. All cropped pants are fugly. Especially when paired with spike heels. Fugly and beyond stupid. End of story.
BTW, it seems I'm not the only person to think so.
And while we're at it, how about those pants so low-waisted I feel as if I can perform a pelvic exam just by looking at the woman?
Then again, maybe we won't go there. *shudder*
So I'm going to let y'all in on a little secret that seems to have eluded both fashion designers and the clothes-buying public for more years than I care to think about:
Capri pants are ugly.
There. I've said it. And because it's something I feel strongly about, I'll say it again: capri pants - and its cousins, the clamdigger and petal pusher - are not only ugly, they are hideous. Much like the commercially available Hummer, they have absolutely no reason to exist. Except, possibly, to make the consumer look rather stupid.
Granted, there are many things out there that are not practical and have no reason to exist. But at least ambient orbs and kaleidoscopes and Mercedes SL Electric Cars for kids are cool to look at.
(I take it back. That Mercedes SL Electric Car? Is stupid. Do kids really need to learn how to drive like their probably self-entitled parents at such a young age? Isn't that what the teen years are for?)
Look, I know that a number of you are, most likely, avid capri fans. Many of my friends wear them. You think they're girly and flirty and cute. But they're not. They're the Peter Pan of fashion - they either won't grow up or don't know what they want to be when they grow up. They flatter absolutely no one and very few women can even come close to looking almost decent. Instead, capris look idiotic.
I know that sounds harsh, and I'm sorry. But sometimes the truth is harsh. I'm not saying I'm immune to stupid fashion choices. I worked the stirrup pants and stretch pants a little past their expiration date (which should have been 2 days). And the whole "blazer/shorts suit" look was one that I heartily embraced (professional woman on top, fun casual girl on the bottom - whee!). And I have no doubt that many of my current fashion loves will cause me to cringe at some point in the future - the raison d'etre of most fashion is to make people wonder what the hell they were thinking in their youth.
But capris? Are just wrong on so many levels. Doesn't matter if they're high end or midrange. All cropped pants are fugly. Especially when paired with spike heels. Fugly and beyond stupid. End of story.
BTW, it seems I'm not the only person to think so.
And while we're at it, how about those pants so low-waisted I feel as if I can perform a pelvic exam just by looking at the woman?
Then again, maybe we won't go there. *shudder*
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United States, California, Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley, English, Carol, Female, 36-40.
