all the fun of the fair...

Friday, April 09, 2004

musical interlude...

I give you love but you won't take it
You flip your collar as you leave
The bicycles on cobblestones
The corner cafe all alone
They whisper, they whisper

"Don't let him take your love for granted
Don't think that he's the only one
There's more to love than keeping time
More to reason than the rhyme
So listen, just listen;

Less than love is nothing
And nothing is not enough
And more than anything
I wish you love
Less than love is nothing
And nothing is not enough
And more than anything
I wish you love, wish you love"

'Cause there might be love around the corner
These streets have seen it all before
They've seen every up and down
Every callous lucky clown
Mistaken, and sorry now

'Cause less than love is nothing
And nothing is not enough
And more than anything
I wish you love
Less than love is nothing
And nothing is not enough
And more than anything

I wish you well I wish you might
I wish you were alone tonight
I wish that I could leave the past behind
For once, I wish that love would last

'Cause nothing is not enough
and more than anything
I wish you love.
Less than love is nothing, less than love is nothing, less than love is nothing

Less Than Love Is Nothing by Jonatha Brooke (from Back In the Circus)

Not surprising that another Jonatha Brooke song has made its way to this page. After all, I did come back from a Jonatha Brooke show a little over an hour ago, though this song was not performed. I expected to enjoy myself, and to have my heart broken by those songs of hers that are exquisitely beautiful. Correct on both counts. I rocked out in my seat when I wasn't struck motionless by the numbers that reached into my heart and managed to yank at every nerve in my body from my chest. I didn't even know that feat was possible.

It's probably just as well that she and her band didn't play Less Than Love Is Nothing. I was stunned by songs such as Because I Told You So, Crumbs (this song brings back memories of 1997, which is when I first heard it on a mix tape, given to me by none other than CuteNerdBoy - I wish I knew what happened to that tape - it was my constant companion for quite a while), Everything I Wanted (what's that like? It's been years since I've felt that), Inconsolable (which had some incredible work by her guitarist - swooping, hesitant, timid and bold and indescribably heart-breaking - I felt had to grab hold of my fingers and hands and arms to keep from flying up and falling into the notes) and, surprisingly enough to me, God Only Knows and Fire and Rain.

When she did a second encore, just the keyboard accompanying her lovely voice on No Net Below, I yelled my delight - the only person that did - and proceeded to turn into an emotional puddle (with a minimum of tears, oddly enough). I leapt up with every one else for the third standing ovation, then fell into my seat, finding it difficult to move. It was only the movement of the people sitting next to me, combined with CuteNerdBoy's puzzled smile, that got me back on my feet.

Had she sung Less Than Love Is Nothing, especially with CuteNerdBoy there, I think I would have been a complete wreck. I've been given less than love - true, nearly unconditional love - for so long, thinking it's the norm. This despite having experienced such a love at least once in my life. Hearing that song at the end of Thursday, after waking up at 4am and a very busy work day and subsisting on little more than caffeine and sugar and adrenaline for most of the day and having a couple of dirty martinis during and after dinner? While sitting next to the one man since 1997 from whom I've wanted such a love, a man who can give me the unconditional love of a dear friend and nothing more?

I would have been a marionette with her strings cut.

All told, a fun dinner with CuteNerdBoy, as per usual (I was very silly throughout most of it and he was right there with me in most of my silliness, as per usual) and a terrific show with a fantastic singer/songwriter. As we drove back to my place after the show, I found myself nearly unable to speak. It seemed all I was capable of were little sighs and moans - nearly post-coital in nature - as I settled my head against the seat belt, floating down from the music.

And CuteNerdBoy greeted me as I opened the door by saying I looked very pretty. A girl always likes to hear that, even if music turns her into a shredded, mewling kitten by the end of the evening.

I think I'm ready for that safety net now.

Labels: musical interlude