Saturday, February 14, 2004

Not again... 

Just as I was getting rid of that last little annoying cold, another has swooped into take its place. How very irritating.

And tonight I'm supposed to get together with FFDWG(FKaSarah) - and a little later in the evening, her roommate - for a night of chocolate and non-Valentinesy videos. It was going to be this whole "Chocolate Death" sleep-over party for single gals, but it turns out I know very few single women and the ones that FFDWG(FKaSarah) and MidWestRoommate know are all busy. Except for one, who potentially wants to go clubbing. That could be fun, and FFDWG(FKaSarah) has received invites up the wazoo through, I believe, the Burning Man mailing list that she's on.

But dancing with a bunch of hot sweaty strangers on Valentine's Day (and here is where I spit on the floor, carefully avoiding your shoes) with a sore throat and runny nose is not going to help me rest at all. Though I could always sleep all day tomorrow, right?

And here's where I do the whole "play by ear" thing again.

Speaking of playing by ear, I've now got it into my head that I need a piano. Or a keyboard. Basically I have to learn to play an instrument again.

(How's that for a smooth segue?)

How did this come about? Well, on Thursday I was more than a little moody. Not glowering-sad-the-sun's-never-gonna-shine kind of moody. Nope, I was genuinely moody. As in a-new-mood-every-minute kind of moody. One moment I'd be happy and tra-la-la'ing, the next I'd be mooning over CuteNerdBoy and the next I'd be telling myself how I really should just sack up and move on, because who really needs that kind of stress? Then the cycle would start again, though not always in that order.

And not just about boys, but everything. I'd be excited about writing something, then I'd be bored about it, convinced I'd never again write anything interesting. I alternated between being jittery and tired, being really into the work I was doing and needing to get the hell out of the cube farm. Six different thoughts and ideas ran through my head at any given second, all of them equally important and many of them contradictory.

(Later in the night I think I scared MidWestRoommate a little - I was punchy and totally silly and making absurd pronouncements as if they were written in stone - it was one of those nights where the filter was off and whatever was in my head was uttered by my lips. I'm a little dangerous when I get like that.)

Then as I was on the bus, heading towards Lions Gate to meet FFDWG(FKaSarah), where we would head out to the Westwood Brewery to see The Uptown Rulers play a free gig (BTW, if you like good white-boy funk and hip-hop, I urge you to buy their CD - it's very good and the sooner they sell out their CDs the sooner they can get started on the next one). I was reading Longing (which is a novelization of the life of Robert Schumann and his wife, Clara Wieck - the book is proving engrossing despite the convoluted writing style of the author) and I became convinced that I needed to learn to play an instrument again.

When I was younger I briefly played both the clarinet and violin (though not at the same time). Due to constant moving, lack of money and the fact that the instruments belonged to the schools I attended and not me, I was never able to continue with my musical education. And while I would dearly love to pick up the violin again, my bad neck and wrist preclude the re-learning of that instrument.

So my mind decided on the piano. At least to start. I mean, I could rent a piano (I saw one for $39/month, which isn't bad) so I wouldn't have to worry about the initial outlay of funds. Then again, just a keyboard might be good, because I would love something that's a little more portable. I'm already a little familiar with pianos and keyboards, since I've taught myself to pick out a couple of songs. And I know how to read music - that I've been doing since I was a little girl. I'm a bit rusty, but I know I could pick it up again.

This need has to carry me through to action. I really would love to play an instrument again.

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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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