Thursday, January 29, 2004

Well, well, well... 

You know, that story that I wrote last night certainly didn't turn out the way I intended. I was thinking about something a bit more sensual, yet run of the mill. I like the way it turned out. And I like when that happens.


I'm not at Disney anymore.

Tuesday afternoon the fellow I was reporting to popped his head into the cubicle I was occupying.

"Has your agency called you?" he asked.

"No," I replied, shaking my head in puzzlement.

He looked surprised. "We won't need you to come back tomorrow."

In temp speak, that phrase means I won't be needed back. Ever.

"Oh," I said ever-so-cleverly. I was stunned. I thought I had been doing a good job with what had been given to me. I was fast (a little too fast, perhaps), I was accurate and I was pleasant yet firm in dealing with customers on the phone. There was a lot of work I was unable to do due to not having computer access, but on Tuesday I was set up with access and I was rearing to go.

Until DisneyBoss decided otherwise.

Later that day I called the agency to tell them what I had been told and asked if he had mentioned any reason. "No," AgencyContact responded, "he didn't say anything negative about you, but I can certainly find out if you like."

"Yes, please, if there's anything I need to improve I'd like to know." I didn't mention my sneaking suspicion that my inconsistent arrival times might have had something to do with it - I am patently not a morning person and getting there at first 8am, then 7:30am, was difficult, especially since I'm bus reliant. I haven't heard back from her.

While the dismissal brought me up short, ultimately I decided it was for the best. Because the moment I walked in the door I felt comfortable there, in a way that I never felt at Lions Gate. Disney brings me comfort, even when I'm miserable, as I often was during my first tenure there. And I sort of don't like that comfort.

See, there are many things about Disney that grates my cheese. The CEO is the main thing. I don't think Eisner actually had heart surgery in 1994 because how can you operate on something that never seems to have existed? The merchandising being produced overseas for slave wages (though the wages are consistent with the laws of the countries in which the factories are based, they are still obscenely low), the increasingly poorly done films (except for Pixar movies - I love Pixar), the bashing-over-the-head marketing, the sometimes repressive atmosphere - these are all things, among others, I despise about Mouseschwitz, er, I mean, Disney. And I will never, ever forgive the company for the extravagant, $5 million premiere gala for the $140 million steaming pile of shit that was Pearl Harbor while they were asking employees to voluntarily jump ship before cutting the rest of us from their tethers. (Mixed metaphors much?) I know that $5 million is a drop in the bucket to a company like Disney, but I'm still a bit upset about it, in case you couldn't tell.

Still, when I go to Disneyland I feel like a little girl again. In many ways I feel like the little girl I never really was, joyous and ebullient and reveling in the wonder and magic of it all, no matter what CynicalCarol tries to whisper to me. The first time I went to Disneyland I was twelve, still painfully shy and serious, I had been having a very emotional day, and I ended up going on rides with the daughter of a family friend who insisted on telling me everything that was going to happen, thereby nearly ruining it for me. So to be able to tap into that girl that I wanted to be but never was makes me grateful that I can enjoy it anew.

There are times that I wish I could work for Disney again. I got some nice perks, the benefits are actually pretty good, they have a good credit union, I think their Commuter Assistance is excellent and, though I once thought they paid crap, I realized after working for Lions Gate that, in fact, Disney is not the worst paying entertainment company around. And it's very close to my home.

And the comfortable feeling of belonging that embraced me when I strolled through those doors was enticing, the familiarity welcoming. I wanted to be a part of that world again while simultaneously disliking so much about it.

I'm sure if I had stayed long term the jangling dichotomy would have blown my brains apart. So I'd say not staying is probably a good thing. And now that I have another temp position lined up - for another company that I have reservations about, but it'll only last a month before I start a three month position with a non-entertainment company for whom a member of my writing group works - I'm feeling better about being let go from Disney Credit and Collections. Because really, out of all people, with my rather, um, spotty credit, do I have the right to ask companies to pay us money? I think not. And who wants that kind of irony weighing them down every day?

Not me.

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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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