Saturday, December 20, 2003

Gloomy weather... 

This is the sort of day that I curse not having a car. I have to get out of the apartment because I'm feeling more than a little stir crazy, but the beautiful weather of the past few days is gone, making it cold and gloomy outside, making me unwilling to leave the coziness of my heated apartment. The fact that I have errands to run makes it a little harder. And e-mails and calls that I've left for others are going unreturned, making me a little antsy and blue (remember, I'm AddictedGal). I need to get out, connect with people, even if it's a bus driver and a cashier. Else the gloominess of the day will infect me, driving me to become hermity again. I've been there before and I have no desire to go back there again.

Last night I was feeling very different. I met with a friend I hadn't seen for many months, due to our absurdly busy, mismatched schedules. He's throwing a little work my way, which is great because I could certainly use it. We ended up spending about half the time catching up on our respective lives and half the time going over his coding needs. And I was happy. I was happy to see him again and I was happy with life in general. He commented on it, saying that, despite the lay-off, I was looking happier and healthier than I had in a number of years, that I had a glow about me. He hypothesized that my new-found glow might be due to the men in my life that I had told him about, the presence of LiterateLawyerGuy and the morphing of CuteNerdBoy from an unattainable desire into a good friend. I answered that he was probably pretty close to the truth.

But today? Not so happy. And it doesn't look like the party is going happen for me tonight, because it's all the way in Lancaster and I can't find my way out there. I've invited friends, not just because I need a ride but because I think the people I invited would really get a kick out of the hosts of the party. They're neat people. Unfortunately it looks like no one can make it tonight, which means I can't make it, because the Antelope Valley is approximately 40-50 miles away. Not a quick bus ride.

And my Sunday is still terribly uncertain. I don't know if I'm getting together with ModelGirl yet, I don't know if I'm going to hear from LiterateLawyerGuy again this weekend and I don't know if I'm going to get any Christmas shopping done. I also don't think I'm going to have the money to go Christmas shopping. At least I was finally able to get through to the EDD yesterday to register for unemployment, but will I start collecting in time to help pay my January rent? Not a clue

Yeah, guess I'm a little jittery today. And scared. And blue. And tired of the mood swings.

Maybe I'll just go for a walk to the nearest Sav-On. It's a 20-25 minute walk one way and the exercise should do my mood good. I hope.

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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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