Saturday, November 15, 2003


Okay, I get it.

I finally get it.

Yesterday, in response to something CuteNerdBoy e-mailed to me a couple of days ago, I e-mailed something in return that essentially said, "Dude, don't let your issues cause you to miss out on something that could be great." What the hell, I decided to get bold for once in my life, to grow some cajones.

Turns out I had somewhat misunderstood something he had written. The upshot of his response today? "Thanks for being honest, but hear me now and hear me later - we're Friends. Terrific Friends, but Friends. Accept it."

Oh, he used some nicer words, talked about our friendship mellowing with age and enjoying what we have and making no promises. He was a little gentler than the words above (though not by much), but that was pretty much the gist of that portion of the e-mail.

Fine. I get it. He can put down the damn brick. And I hope he doesn't mind giving me back that chunk of heart, because I'm hoping to use it later.

I guess my cajones must have shrunk a little after reading that, because in my return e-mail (in which I said, okay, we're fabulous friends with a lifetime of wonderful friendship ahead - I can deal - moving on now) I should have told him to stop with the fucking mixed messages already. Then again I admit that I'm very much enjoying the physical portion of said mixed messages, with the hugs and little kisses. I have no problem with that continuing. It's not like I'm getting it from anyone else of the male persuasion these days.


It's a good thing then that I'm back on Match.com again. There is another gentleman with whom I've recently started a correspondence (the previous guy has dropped off the face of the earth - oh, there's something you don't see everyday - unless you're me). He's funny and flirtatious, resourceful and literate and cute, with many intellectual references that I barely understand, challenging me to think on my feet. But he manages such references in a manner that comes across as charming rather than pretentious. We're both geeks with a love of theater. And he really likes my writing. All very good things in my book. *shrug* We'll see what happens

Now that CuteNerdBoy has let me know the lay of the land in no uncertain terms, I can stop letting myself be distracted by his presence and truly cast my eyes elsewhere.

I guess sometimes a girl needs a good kick in the ass.

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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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