Thursday, September 11, 2003
On a lighter note...
...this past Tuesday would have been my parents' 42nd wedding anniversary. One year ago, on September 9th, OlderBro, OBGirlfriend and I took my parents out to dinner to celebrate. By the end of the month my siblings and I moved my mom out of the house she shared with my father and up to Fresno to stay with YoungerSis and her family.
Amazing how life can turn in an instant.
On Tuesday I called my mom to see how she was doing, but she didn't want to talk about it, going over other things instead. I didn't want to push it. Not on the phone. I'll be seeing her next week for her birthday (she's in Ventura County these days) and we'll talk then.
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Luckily I was kept from brooding about it all too much. Tuesday was the BookCrossing Meet-Up for September and I spent a lovely evening with CuteNerdBoy and his aunt. After the meeting the three of us went to dinner then hung out at my place for a little while. I admit that, though I like CNBAunt, I wasn't too sure about her joining us when CuteNerdBoy mentioned it was a possibility. I hadn't seen him since his step-father's gig and I did want to spend a little time with just the two of us. But CNBAunt is such a delightful person, very funny and friendly and warm, that I couldn't help but enjoy her company. It was such a comfortable evening.
But.
So many times I looked at CuteNerdBoy as we talked, or as he talked to others, and our eyes met and I felt such a shock to my system. My fingers would tingle and I'd see sparkling flashes behind my pupils. I wondered if he felt the same, or at least a little of what I was feeling. I thought so, but one can never really know, can they? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just seeing what I want to see in his words and his actions. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.
After they left, I listened to Another Disc #6 (which he gave to me on Tuesday, along with Bachelor No. 2 by Aimee Mann). I cried at some of songs and let Sparks carry me away (I absolutely love Coldplay). The music is melancholy yet sensual but the lyrics just break my heart. And I contented myself with my, shall we say, fantasies. Yeah, I like that word. Fantasies...
A-hem.
It would be nice if some of the fantasies became reality. Some day. Some day.
Amazing how life can turn in an instant.
On Tuesday I called my mom to see how she was doing, but she didn't want to talk about it, going over other things instead. I didn't want to push it. Not on the phone. I'll be seeing her next week for her birthday (she's in Ventura County these days) and we'll talk then.
Luckily I was kept from brooding about it all too much. Tuesday was the BookCrossing Meet-Up for September and I spent a lovely evening with CuteNerdBoy and his aunt. After the meeting the three of us went to dinner then hung out at my place for a little while. I admit that, though I like CNBAunt, I wasn't too sure about her joining us when CuteNerdBoy mentioned it was a possibility. I hadn't seen him since his step-father's gig and I did want to spend a little time with just the two of us. But CNBAunt is such a delightful person, very funny and friendly and warm, that I couldn't help but enjoy her company. It was such a comfortable evening.
But.
So many times I looked at CuteNerdBoy as we talked, or as he talked to others, and our eyes met and I felt such a shock to my system. My fingers would tingle and I'd see sparkling flashes behind my pupils. I wondered if he felt the same, or at least a little of what I was feeling. I thought so, but one can never really know, can they? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just seeing what I want to see in his words and his actions. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.
After they left, I listened to Another Disc #6 (which he gave to me on Tuesday, along with Bachelor No. 2 by Aimee Mann). I cried at some of songs and let Sparks carry me away (I absolutely love Coldplay). The music is melancholy yet sensual but the lyrics just break my heart. And I contented myself with my, shall we say, fantasies. Yeah, I like that word. Fantasies...
A-hem.
It would be nice if some of the fantasies became reality. Some day. Some day.
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