Saturday, August 09, 2003
Patience, grasshopper...
A friend told me recently that when she and her husband started dating, he was the perfect gentleman. Despite having known each other for awhile, during which time he was trying to convince her that he'd be just the right person for her to date, once she said, "Yes, I will date you," he was, for a number of months, never too forward, never doing more than a kiss and a hug before leaving for the night, despite her widened eyes of disbelief. When asked why, hubby said, "Because if I start, I'm not going to want to stop. And I just don't want to take things too fast."
Another friend, whom I had dated many, many moons ago, in a galaxy on the far side of the universe, once told me that he always found it interesting that women, or at least the women he had dated, seemed to want to rush into the physical side of dating much faster than he did. He had mentioned this phenomenon to several of his male friends, all of whom agreed that this was the truth. I looked at him, eyebrow raised, disbelief writ large on my face as I recalled how very forward he was on our first date in that long ago time. I may have even snorted in a most scoffing manner, remembering how the men I'd dated wasted no time in making it known that they found me physically attractive and also remembering tales of the male libido from so many other women. To which he replied, "Maybe it's just the men you date, Carol. But in my group of friends, we're willing to take it slow."
I think Friend #2 was right. Maybe it is just the men I've dated in the past, combined with the fact that 1) I'm a very physical person and 2) I like to dress in a rather provacative, if tasteful, manner, which no doubt makes said dates think, "Hey, it's ok to put the moves on this one." And all this makes me think that it's perfectly okay to rush into being physical with a guy. So when I'm faced with someone whose company I enjoy and who, from what I can tell, shows signs of being attracted to me but is a perfect gentleman, despite my painfully obvious attempts of showing my own interest in him, my mind just bounces all over the place and I have trouble figuring out what is happening. And I think,"Is this how normal people date?"
Maybe it is. And maybe I just need to keep that in mind.
Another friend, whom I had dated many, many moons ago, in a galaxy on the far side of the universe, once told me that he always found it interesting that women, or at least the women he had dated, seemed to want to rush into the physical side of dating much faster than he did. He had mentioned this phenomenon to several of his male friends, all of whom agreed that this was the truth. I looked at him, eyebrow raised, disbelief writ large on my face as I recalled how very forward he was on our first date in that long ago time. I may have even snorted in a most scoffing manner, remembering how the men I'd dated wasted no time in making it known that they found me physically attractive and also remembering tales of the male libido from so many other women. To which he replied, "Maybe it's just the men you date, Carol. But in my group of friends, we're willing to take it slow."
I think Friend #2 was right. Maybe it is just the men I've dated in the past, combined with the fact that 1) I'm a very physical person and 2) I like to dress in a rather provacative, if tasteful, manner, which no doubt makes said dates think, "Hey, it's ok to put the moves on this one." And all this makes me think that it's perfectly okay to rush into being physical with a guy. So when I'm faced with someone whose company I enjoy and who, from what I can tell, shows signs of being attracted to me but is a perfect gentleman, despite my painfully obvious attempts of showing my own interest in him, my mind just bounces all over the place and I have trouble figuring out what is happening. And I think,"Is this how normal people date?"
Maybe it is. And maybe I just need to keep that in mind.
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United States, California, Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley, English, Carol, Female, 36-40.
