Thursday, June 07, 2007

where's the packing tape? 

I need it 'cause I'm moving.

Oh, not physically - I'll be hanging out in Burbank for a while longer. It's just that my blog needs a change of scene, so I'm moving it over to just an ordinary goddess. It also needed a change of name, more in keeping with the URL. Legal forms were a bitch, but there you go.

I've got most of the redecorating done, but there's always the chance things may change, so don't mind the occasional bare spots on the walls.

Monday, June 04, 2007

damn it... 

I can't make it better.

It drives me crazy, but there's nothing I can do. No concrete way I can help. No way for me to make it all go away.

I hug when in the same room, murmuring positive words, stroking hair and soothing furrowed brow, expressing my love. When on the phone, I still murmur, trying to make my voice convey that, were we in the same room, I would be hugging and stroking and soothing and expressing. It sounds corny, but I turn my voice into a verbal hug, hoping that it can be felt.

I hear the exhaustion and the frustration. I listen, make suggestions when appropriate, offer advice that I hope will be helpful, but try not to be a know-it-all. Because I don't know it all. I wish I did.

But the advice and hugs and soothing doesn't make it better. Not really. Not in a concrete, never-have-to-deal-with-this-bullshit-again way that I so desperately wish, so that this pain and anger and frustration are all things of the past, gray and hazy and gone.

The things I would so dearly love to do, to talk directly to the other people involved, make them see how stupid and immature and hurtful they're being - I can't do. It's not my place. And I know, for various reasons, I wouldn't be listened to. Because I'm involved only on the fringes - not directly.

So I can't help.

Damn it.


Friday, June 01, 2007

i'm screwed 

29%Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Much like Kymm, this whole "caring about other people, especially my loved ones" thing is going to get me seriously zombified.


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Carol/Female/36-40. Lives in United States/California/Los Angeles/San Fernando Valley, speaks English. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection.
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United States, California, Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley, English, Carol, Female, 36-40.

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